Gotta Love the Journey

Welcome to my blog.
why am I blogging?
I want to reach out to people who are like me--whose gifts are deeper than the naked eye. Whose journey goes beyond what they even realize.
As one who knows the difficulties of the journey, I want to offer support to others walking the same path.
Thinking about my journey right now makes me smile.
I thought I wanted to be a horse-trainer.
There was a slight snag.
My riding instructor in college used to look at me like I had grown three green tentacles out of my head.
Or, make that four.
What she said, was: "Christy, I think that horse must like you."
What she really meant was: "There is no way on god's green earth that a human being with the lack of riding ability you have should have been able to get that horse to do that."
A nicer way of saying it would be that my riding "form" or "technique" didn't exactly explain why certain difficult horses seemed to respond to me the way that they did.
The funny thing is, I didn't exactly see it as such a good thing at the time.
I mean, when your riding instructor--who you think just might be next in line for God's throne-- is looking at you like four green tentacles belong on your head, its hard to grow in self-esteem.
What I really wanted at the time was to impress her with my stunning technique, my brilliant form, my potential as a Grand Prix rider.
Not the unsolved mystery of why, no matter how I clammored around on the horse's back, they still seemed to like me at the end of the day.
The gifts I did have were misunderstood, by both of us, and quite frankly, I would have been happy to exchange them for one quarter of the "talent" or attention that my fellow shining star classmates seemed to garner.
I even questioned God on the matter.
I wondered, why has this love of horses been placed so deeply in my heart, and yet the dreams it sends to me will forever remain unfulfilled?
(Dreams in any good riding program, of course, involve sailing over 6 foot fences or riding as a Grand Prix dressage master at the Olympics).
Fast forward three years later when I no longer questioned my failing to make the Olympic show jumping squad, and felt confident on my path into the Equine Therapy arena.
My love for horses had been answered in more ways than I ever could have asked. My heart resonated with the work I was doing, and I was able to use and fully appreciate the gifts I had been given.
And then again, the questioning came, as one after the other, I lost five horses in a row.
Again, I turned to the heavens.
How could this one thing I loved, the very thing I was put here on god's green earth for, been taken away from me? How could my heart ever exist in full, vacant of horses?
God answered.
In the form of the animals.
That's when the animals began speaking to me, answering every question I had ever thought to ask, and then some.
If I had become an Olympic show jumper, I doubt I would have taken the time to hear what the horses were trying to tell me. My "form," "technique" and "ability" would have hindered my development in other areas.
If I had been a "natural" rider, I doubt I would be so proficient in helping others realize their own riding ability--or bothered to hear what the horses were trying to say.
If my horses hadn't chosen to move over to the other side to do their work on me, I doubt I would have bothered to consider that my journey held another layer, deeper than I ever thought possible. Their voices would have been more muffled, harder to hear.
How can I possibly look at this journey in anything other than joy and gratitude?!
What a life! What a gift! What a journey!
Happy trails,